Feeling the Night
20:23
I often wonder, what do
you think when you are surrounded by the dark and you cannot sleep. How do you
feel at that time? Do you feel happy that the day is over? Is the reason why
your eyes won’t close is because you are so excited for the next day, or are
you still trying to catch your breath after today and thinking of all the
things you will have to do tomorrow? Night is known to be dangerous, because of
our imagination and bad people lurking outside. Maybe I am too young to
disagree, but I do. I have yet to feel scared of the night. Every time I look
out of the window, I wish to be “in it”, to breathe it and become a part of
that mystery, not to stay just an ordinary fascinated observer.
I feel compassion for
Night, as she is so lonely. Come to think of it, she and Day are like
step-sisters. Day is the popular one, always surrounded by people, having fun,
if something bad happens on her watch, we call it “life”. Whereas Night is an
utter contrariety to her half-sister. She is shy and takes long to warm up to
people, because they usually head home as soon as they notice her approaching.
The ones that choose to stay, act as though Night isn’t even there, making her
feel left out. Very few of us acknowledge Night and decide to keep her company.
That’s why being her friend feels special. Day as a friend isn’t as
trustworthy, because you have to share her with so many of her other friends,
and she can’t always be your Day. Night is different. If you walk up to her,
she will give you all the attention you need, if you’re stressed or confused
about something, she will help you forget about it. All you need, is a single
step into it and everything around you vanishes. When you’re alone, you have no
choice but think. That is a dangerous thing to do during the night.
Where does the night
take your thoughts? To the bright future, gives you hope, or to the past
mistakes and fills you with remorse? To me, it’s the latter. Night brings me
the feeling of one more “over”. It makes me think of all the time I’ve wasted,
that I could’ve spent with the ones that truly matter. It’s not even death that
terrifies me so much, being parentless is what breaks my heart. More than ever
I realise the transience of present happiness. We might not be able to undo all
the wrongs, but I know that it’s not too late to say “I love you”.
Night is like a
generous aunt, that does a feelings give-away every time she comes to your
home. If you ever struggle to decide whether you should be scared or amazed by
it, take my advice: relax. Take it all in and enjoy, since we experience so
little of this beautifully scary mystery.
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